Is Bursting Out the Only Solution? #Anger

Since childhood, I despised people who showed anger for no cause and I maintained a good distance from them to save myself from their wrath.

I believed that if someone (parents or extended family) really wish to correct me then they better explain me coolly instead of showing resentment & anger which I despised. I evaded from such company and at times, if caught, I retaliated instead of listening…I know my retaliation increased the level of anger of the person who wished to correct me.

Though I was in my pre-teens, still I declared openly that if really you wish to get over me, then try with warmth and love instead of burning in anger…but who cares of kids…in those days, it was firmly believed,

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” and I became victim of it most of the times when I fumed over their bickering’s.

At times, I felt offended and been emotional stuff, at that stage, I vowed to myself that I would never show anger to my children nor would yell and would treat them with utmost love and care.

It does not mean that my parents did not love me. They loved me a lot but their way of showering affection was different.

One more reason of my mother’s yell was that she was the only daughter-in-law in our family of extended family & three generations resided under one roof and her bottled up resentments turned towards us…her children. She was so much done that she couldn’t realise her folly.

In those days, DIL couldn’t voice her concerns and she found easy to open her resentment on us.

Emotionally, I grew up more than my age and my writing habit made me maintain a diary of the incidences that I faced and I even wrote my perceptions about it and how I would manage these issues in my family life, later on in life.

I am not an easy person but I work on my faults or weakness and gradually weed out from my life.

People can’t convince me till my conscience is convinced but I have the ability to realize my mistakes and I have learnt a lot from the mistakes of my parents, siblings, friends and so on.

At this point of mid-forties, I have rectified myself to a larger extent by the lessons learned by life. I can’t be perfect because a human being can’t be perfect but still I have travelled a long way and has been successful in working on my weaknesses n those mere weaknesses of the past are my strength today.

Don’t feel that I am foolproof, still I commit mistakes but it is done deliberately in full conscious and if my conscience suggests that I am on wrong, I try my best to prove that it is fair.

“ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE & WAR.”

I can’t exist without faults because I am a normal human being and a normal person can’t be a Perfectionist, YET I HAVE OVERCOME MOST OF MY SHORTCOMINGS.

Learning lessons of life is on and it will be till the last breath of my life.

  • Suggestion for the people who get angry quickly.

Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath.

— Thich Nhat Hanh.

Feel the difference.

What I do control my Anger?

I count backwards, 100-1 and it works for me.

Do this…your anger will vanish.

Leave your comments.

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12 Comments Add yours

  1. Obsessivemom says:

    Controlling anger is hard. I’d probably not remember to count backwards at all when anger hits. That said, no one likes to be shouted at.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ila Varma says:

    It’s hard to control but I would request you to try. Slowly you will gain control. Remember the words of Lord Buddha. If u throw hot coals on others first u will burn your hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Controlling anger is little bit tougher for me. Though I listen to music to calm down myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ila Varma says:

      True…its difficult but we can try m gradually you will win

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Anger is a dangerous thing. It can break apart so many things and people. I used to be an extremely short tempered person. But with time, I’ve mellowed down. Mostly because I fell in love with another short tempered person and together we had to meet each other halfway.

    I just stay silent or walk away when I’m angry. Bursting out does happen but it is the rarest of cases. When I’m angry, I just sit quietly, read or have a cup of tea. After a while, I just let it go.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sulekha says:

    I try to count to 10 when angry but fail sometimes. Reasoning rather than shouting is a better option for all. Writing in a journal helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ila Varma says:

      Best way to distract.

      Like

  6. Lata Sunil says:

    I do not know if I can control my anger all the time. I have reduced my yelling. It is almost not there now. But, your mother being the only DIL in a joint family resonates with me so much as I am in the same predicament. Believe me, it is incredibly difficult to shoulder all the responsibilities. You must shower some love on her for the same.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ila Varma says:

      I do love and care for my Mom…and now I made her understand that the frustrations of others should not be turned towards the innocent kids…thirty years back, we understood but the child of today won’t understand n the relationship might scar with time.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. alubhujiablog says:

    It’s the best part that u listen to ur conscience and try to improve urself…I wud also try to go in the same path

    Like

  8. Neha says:

    Anger is a storm rising, so true! Focusing on your breathing is a great tip.

    Like

  9. Counting backwards seem like a favourite trick for all moms. Its not wasy but we all try and everything might not work for everybody. Thanks Ila for linking up with #MMM

    Like

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