Dear, 16 Year Old Me!!!

 

Hey, now I am 28 years old, unbelievable. Am going to be a life thriving on this planet for three decades, O my goodness, time passed so quickly…

Today I was asked to write a letter to my 16-year-old self. In beginning, it appeared easy but in reality when I sat with my keyboard…it wasn’t so easy as it sounded…but I need to and will rewind back to my 16 year old self immersed in a well of  innocence with naughtiness.

What I am living today, it’s not my original self, it’s a mask and that too it changes with the person, I am with. I have different masks for different people n I carry all n interact accordingly.

I stopped typing and closed my eyes. After 12 years, I was getting a chance to enter into the skin of originality…hey guys…don’t laugh on me. I am shedding my scales for few hours to be of Super Sixteen.

“Happy Birthday To You…Happy Birthday to you my son, welcome aboard to Sweet 16, my child. Grow up n be blessed with all the best things of this world.” This is my Mom, entered the room as the clock struck 12 with a delicious cake lighted with 16 colorful candles and other members barged into my room.

I was prepared for the arrival but my girlfriend was on-line. She wanted to be the first one to wish me but my Mom succeeded n emotions were flickering on messenger. I switched off the monitor so that others don’t find me hooked with my GF. My brother following Mom had got the idea that someone was online and to irritate me, he switched on the monitor for few seconds to get a glimpse of what was going in the background.

After cake cutting, I was left alone in my room, apologizing with my online GF, girls are difficult to please and when they are disturbed in their mission, they are on fire, I discovered on that fine day of my Super 16th birthday.

At home, all were busy in preparation of my birthday welcoming my 16th year in this home and here, “yeh ladaki ne meri watt laga di.”

She tested my patience and I was about to blurt out but handled the situation with care because she was one of sorted type of girl in school and all boys were crazy for her and I was the lucky stuff that “wo mujhe ghaas daalti” so I didn’t want to lose her on my birthday but I had prepared to avenge the situation in a proper situation.

I am a simple boy, more of a Mamma’s lad and share all stuffs with her, good or bad. She is understanding, so I never keep anything to myself but this online chatting episode is not known else I will have to face the music…Kuch secret hona bhi chahiye..so this is one of them.

My friends n relatives tease me for been too close to my Mom but I know my Mamma so no amount of coaxing zigzag my way.

This I am writing about Mom but on face, I  get irritated on her reminders of following-up studies or other activities and at times I am very rude to her. In times of anxiety, I feel that she is my greatest enemy, not letting me enjoy my life. Even Papa’s reprimands, I dislike.

I nurture a fantasy to be as Papa in persona and understanding n patient as Mom but these feelings arise inside me when I am alone or they are away from home. During encounters, I turn up to be unruly n moody boy, cribbing on petty issues.

I am approx 5’10” in height with remarkable girth, near to Pa’s height, stubble on my chin, student of X and I am no more a kid to be fed. I want to be my self unguarded by parent’s safeguards n don’t be dependent on anyone.

They too want me independent in their style but thought process, I have to follow theirs.

Mom is ever-ready to take the pains n fulfill our wishes but I want freedom to roam around, follow my own routine of waking up after sun is high, running to catch the bus. I don’t feel the need to take bath everyday n wear clean clothes and the bickering at home starts.

Been a appearing student of Boards is a hot topic of discussion in town and I’m  required to sit for long hours to study in comparison to my friends n neighbors. I can’t sit continuously for hours either my structure of body or mind deviates. I’m regular in studies n don’t find the need, but parents want to see me anxious and over attentive. I feel sleepy n I’m over relaxed about exams, which escalates my parent’s pressure.

I try my hands on system often for playing online games, which acts as a stress booster but parents aren’t happy about it, though I play after completing my regular studies.I’m lectured for not waking up on time and that is the biggest excuse for not allowing me to play. I have developed a weakness for the game and my weakness is the reason of Mahabharata at home. I feel strangulated with pressure, been a child of disciplinarian parents makes my life tough and I vow that I won’t pressurize my kids for studies n would let them enjoy life.

My Mom give us liberty to do everything in life but in her guidance and time management is the greatest enemy of mine…I’m fond of lagging behind time.

At school, I’m a good boy in academics as well as behavior…there is a secret…I obey my teachers a lot and never disregard their views…if I would have been same at home…then kya kahne…I use the mask of goodness at school n at home, I’m original.

I’m creative and good at drawing, playing but maintaining cleanliness is a tough task….but friends don’t know my secret…for pleasing gals n guys, I keep clean n tidy my external appearance to all…smart guy, I am.

I am good at heart, never want to displease anyone but these mood swings with age is taking my toll.

I want to take risks in life, try on my hands on two-wheeler n four-wheeler and leave the laggards behind on road…I am getting terrific n fearless.

At times, my acquaintance n friends upsurge me to try smoking n wine, but my heart doesn’t allow and I evade from getting into such situations.

I love wearing stylish clothes, using deodorants, face wash n all stuff to look good and pose style in-front of peers n the gals lure me a lot.

At times, I take out few bucks from the wallet to watch films, video games and enjoy road side delicacies…just for the excitement n fun…and after few days, I disclose my activity at home.

Is this the effect of Super 16?

I trim my beard regularly and at times shave…at times, I feel lazy to shave.

Is this the dilemma of life, when I didn’t have, I admired to have them to add look to my manliness n now I wish to quit.

This age stream is confusing, there is no sync between mind n heart. Mind wish to keep stable but heart paces and want to run fast leaving mind behind.

Rigorously, I am on fight and the victims are the people who try to keep me safe.

I love loud music and I dance with all enthusiasm on my favorite numbers. Even in dreams, I fantasize a lot and that I’m not going to spill the beans…they are sweet dreams and at times, scary too.

I did waited for this Super exciting 16, but it is not as filmed in films. It’s tough phase of life where I have to synchronize my activities, my career, discipline and keep all happy.

I am regarded as a grown up child n expected to behave accordingly.

I have outgrown mother’s lap but still I am a child at heart.

I took a long breath and back to my masked existence.

I read what all I wrote and laughed a hearty laugh and was scared at my existence at 16.

How I messed with my Mom for no fault of hers?

It was my mood-swing which unnerved my patience. Looking back, comparing with current scenario, I find those days were of fun with no liabilities, no formalities and no pressure…it is the age of stepping-stones.

I got petrified on slightest pretexts on been disciplined but now I have to accept the pangs of my boss, my neighbors, my competitors and the boss at home, my wife and still I maintain the cool and follow the decorum religiously.

The moments of life are never the same so I believe in enjoying each hour of life. Life is full of surprises…and I want to live each moment of it as life brings along.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Linked to #DAILYCHATTER #UBC DAY FIFTEEN

Pic Courtesy: here

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. Quite a take on the prompt! Impressive 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. deepagandhi says:

    Good one Ila..enjoyed reading it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ila Varma says:

      Thanks Deepa…hooked up with blogging each day, not able to read others, will do once I finish this.

      Like

  3. Nice take on the prompt. Enjoyed it!

    Liked by 1 person

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