My doctor’s visit was due but he did not turn up, rather he called me up to excuse him for the day because he had some personal engagement at home. I thought was someone sick at home or was something bothering him, so out of curiosity, I inquired stepping out of the demarcated fine line of a doctor and a patient.
His reply stunned me for few moments, it came as a big surprise for me. He told me that there was a get together party in late evening and his wife cannot manage domestic chores all by herself and he will help her in cooking, washing and all sorts of things. He is active at domestic front in normal days too and on planned occasions, he is needed all the more. It wasn’t a new thing for me but his way of putting up things, #ShareTheLoad and declaring widely was the reason for appreciation of his mind-blowing attitude.
Nowadays men do assist his wife, mother or sister in household chores, there is not much choice left especially if the woman is working. But are reluctant to open up in public, it hurts their male ego.
It’s good that men are recoiling out of their shell and are more comfortable in accepting.
Women is good at cooking and stitching but her roles are defined within the precincts of the house, in commercial fields, the job of the best cook and tailors are vouched by males, isn’t this weird.
Recently, I gave stitched suit to my tailor to modify its fittings, he introspected closely and told me that the suit lacks perfection because it was stitched by a woman tailor. I could not control my laughter and asked him how he found out. With great pride, he admonished that by the way the suit was cut, he could make out and they don’t rely on woman tailor for stitching…I found it amusing and weird but it’s true to some extent… Oops.
Since ages, men are banking on the roles of top cooks, tailors, hairdressers etc. but as they step inside the house, they keep themselves aloof from this arena. Even I would prefer these men to stay outside in these fields at home so that they don’t get bored by the monotony and perform well on the stage of their profession… 😉
When I started my establishment after marriage, I was overwhelmed with joy in the new set up and managed domestic front all by myself with a grin adorning my face and never felt burdened rather I delivered the things with great enthusiasm and wished to do things with perfection. I was blessed with two sons and with time, they outgrew my lap.
From beginning, I had reared my kids with a value that work is not gender specified or doing own work does not mars status rather one should be well versed in all spheres of life. I taught them to wash their plates, iron their school uniforms, to help me in watering the plants, weeding the beds, making tea and shakes and to serve them if guests pour in and I am busy. It wasn’t that that I did not enjoy doing work but my motto behind these lessons was to make them independent and efficient and to come out of the notion that these tasks were gender specified.
Even I am an all-rounder and can do well, within the inner walls or outside, it never concerns me. I can wash toilet and simultaneously can sit behind the wheels, no arena spared by me.
“Jack of all and master of few” – This adage is my invention and it differs from the original.
Working with my kids was enjoyable for me & I felt rejuvenated in their company and they learnt the tasks easily by getting involved in it, people learn easily by actions.
The guests that visited my house used to remark that we all were wonderful hosts and all members of the family invests their time and energy in managing the chores and it was a call to be proud of.
Initially, my husband was not good in cooking or laundry but he learnt the tricks by me because he had an interest to contribute and efforts of all made my work easier especially when guests dropped in or I had to go on outing, I did not need to be concerned about home affairs in office hours or on marketing spree.
Now my kids are grown up men and are well groomed and the younger one is much more efficient in domestic chores and he patiently handles and he believes that cooking is an art and he tries his creativity in cooking. He has flair for cooking and he does all by himself without assistance of a maid.
This is the status of my family but this scenario is not common in India. In mid- towns or rural areas, things are still the same. The woman is expected to handle all the chores and neither the husbands nor the children initiate to help her, rather she is suppressed to do.
The urban population has started its participation in domestic chores but still the habit is not manifested in the whole population, a small portion has initiated the task.
The survey conveys the truth and the mind-set of the existing population must change for the betterment of the plight of women in families.
Three to four decades back, there were several people in the house and they jointly worked to manage house, so there wasn’t any need of men. The families downsized, impact of globalization and now the participation of males and kids are a must rather it can be put this way that the joint efforts of all the members is required to bring in joy, good health and contentment in the family.
The woman is carving a niche for herself in professional world so it is the proper time to break the stereotype image of a woman tied to cooking, cleaning or washing.
Even if she is not working, her responsibilities have grown manifold, she has to do lot more things all by herself and she needs little effort of other members of family to minimize the burden and boost her morale that she is not alone.
Why the children 2 out of 3 think laundry is only a mother’s job?
The children are not wrong in their perceptions, they see their mothers or grandmothers doing laundry job or other work all by themselves and the fathers or grandfather sitting with newspapers or watching TV shows so they presume that this area of work is defined for the womenfolk and especially the sons of the family grow up with the same mentality of not helping their wives or daughters and this tradition is surpassed easily to the next generation.
Now, it is time to take a call, the issue to be nipped in the bud and for that the initiative has to be adopted by the parents of the family by setting an example to their posterior by supporting each other and all members working amicably within the family.
This way the blooming buds will grow up with a positive message of equality and will not grow with taboo of gender biased, which is the acute demand of the hour.
The male members will reciprocate well with their mothers, life partners, daughters and sisters and value domestic chores which is more of taken as granted by the male fraternity and not much importance is given to the person managing domestic chores.
If all work in unison then only they will understand the value of relationships and the load of work will be shared adding cheers to the fatigued soul.
A healthy mind is equally important with healthy body and soul. We work on nurturing healthy body but we ignore mind and soul.
Inculcate good habits in children, don’t differentiate between siblings and teach them the value of work and the doer of the work. Still, grown up lads don’t give much importance to their mom for whom she takes a lot of pain.
Sharing and caring should be the motto of the family members and all should put in their contribution.
I am lucky to have a family wherein each and every members contributes his share and helps me to give a final shape to it…:)
But this is not a common thing in all families, very few have chosen to change the defined norms and are working towards it.
Many time, people wish to bring in the change but the peer pressure from all quarters knocks down their approach. Each and every member of the society, be it friends, family members or neighbors all need to take the call and evolve for a revolution.
The combined effort will bring in subtle changes in society and will benefit each and every individual of our society.
Take off the load and add joys to cheer all… 🙂
It’s my take, what’s yours.
Image Credits: Google